So far I am still on plan. I've had some great runs and some tough but buzzing runs. I can't believe we are over the halfway mark!
During the past four weeks I have gone way past my previous longest mileage. Angela and I ran seventeen miles of the London marathon route and had a ball. I was terrified beforehand ( more on that later) but we did it. Turning onto the mall knowing next time would be the end of one of the biggest achievements of my life was something special :-)
I have been super lucky with marathon buddies and support. Big shout out to Mark, Angela and to Laura but also to each and everyone of you. I honestly could not be doing this without your help and encouragement.
Long run anxiety: I debated whether to write about this or not but this is me and if anyone else goes through this maybe it could help.
I suffer so badly from long run anxiety. I used to be anxious generally and constantly worrying about what I said, what people thought etc...that has gone by the wayside! I am what I am and I need no excuses ( and all that jazz!) but I get crippled by the thought pre long runs of 'what if I can't?'
To me in times like this I think I revert back and still see myself as the hugely overweight girl I used to be ( not that I'm a petite thing now but I was over seventeen stone previously!) I look at the long run and the first thing I think is what if I can't? What if I slow whoever I'm running with down? What if they insist on slowing down? What if it's just too much? All things that people can rationalise but these thoughts get to me. Yes, in theory I know I can do it. Some of the distances I have done before so why wouldn't I be able to? I guess being poorly last year has taken its toll too. I get in a real state the night before every long run. In fact I went to Brighton by myself on Sunday because I didn't want anyone to feel I was being negative....which is how understandably it can be construed but it is so not that.
Why put yourself through it some might ask?
Because as soon as I start I love it. I love what running gives me. It makes me feel good. It puts a smile on my face. It makes me challenge myself. It gives me headspace. It gives me me time. It makes me feel proud. It makes me feel I'm being a good role model for my children. It makes me feel part of an amazing community.
Right now it's something I can't seem to stop but it is there. I keep in the forefront of my mind how I will feel during and afterwards and that is what keeps me going.
Running has given me so much. You lot for a start! I feel fitter, stronger and have much more energy for everything.
I hope no one thinks this is a negative blog....it really isn't. I am feeling good. Every bit of my plan so far has gone to plan. I'm entering the second half feeling strong. I'm still so excited and feel so privileged to be representing the club.
I love running, I love you lot. I can not wait to run the London marathon :-)