The Perth Kilt Run (Not Quite Ode to the Haggis) by Linda Newton

‘Twas a hot summer’s night when we headed to Perth

To join thousands of runners, full of energy and mirth.

For a Guinness World Record run in full kilts we did form

No shorts, skorts or spandex, that was not the norm.


We were marched to the start by three pipe bands – oh, aye!

With cheers from the pavement, not a cloud in the sky.

We walked and we walked ‘til the start line was near

And then we were off with a bang and a cheer.


Down to the first street, then turn with the pack

To the first water stand, and to throw a gulp back.

Oh yes, it was hot!  30C was the temp

It was not for the feint of heart or a wimp!


Through the streets of old Perth we did wind and wind

The locals they sprayed us and cheered us – so kind!

The pipers piped on and the dancers they danced

As we, through the streets ran on and then pranced.


Another sprinkler, a hose and then water stop

Keep sipping and running, you don’t want to flop.

Then on to the finish, oh what a sight

‘Twas a much welcome view, to be finished that night!


On through the finish line, Tunnocks and short-bread

Then for the ‘medal’ and beer, what a spread!

A medal to remember, a small whiskey pot


And a Guinness World Record, to finish the lot!